Disclaimer: This post is long, not funny and has no illustrations. But I'm hoping it can convey the feelings I'm having today.
It hit me really hard last night when I found out Kidd Kraddick had died suddenly. I couldn't believe my feelings, really I am grieving a DJ? I'm not the type of person who follows celebrities and if they die I have empathy for the family but I don't feel the need for grieving. This is different.
When I moved to Texas in 1992 I had zero friends. One day I turned on the radio and heard a familiar voice. I couldn't place the voice but it was enough to hook me on his show. Years later I found out Kidd was on the radio in Utah years before when I had lived there.
I started listening to the Kidd Kraddick show even before Kellie Rasberry was his co-host. I remember going on maternity leave with my first child. I always listened at work so I missed a couple months while I was at home. When I went back to work Kellie had replaced the previous co-host and I was even more hooked than before. The chemistry that the two of them have had the last 19 years has been a perfect blend of ADHD and rationality.
I remember Al joining the show and wondering how long he would last. Kellie did not seem very fond of him at first. But Kidd made it work. Then many others coming and going like Bert, Flakeboy, and Rich. When you listen to a group of people for four hours a day you really feel like you are getting to know them.
Kidd seemed to be pretty honest about himself on the show. We got to know his daughter, (remember bath time with Caroline?) and before his divorce, his wife. I remember him calling her one time when he had lost the keys to his car and took her car. She had a meeting to attend, found his keys, but wasn't able to drive his car due to it being a stick. He promised her he would call a car service to take her to her meeting. In typical ADHD style he completely forgot and got a call from her hours later after she had driven an hour to her meeting in first gear. He was so sorry and remorseful about the incident. Even after his divorce he was never disrespectful to his ex-wife. I can't remember a time he dogged on her. He always seemed to take the blame for the divorce.
I remember all the fun phrases like boogaloo, I love your circus and there is one I can't quite remember that had to do with Annette Funicello. And of course the one that has been there as long as I can remember, "Keep looking up, cause that's where it all is." Kinda appropriate now.
Kidd Kraddick was there for many sad events and handled them with dignity. I was listening to the show when I found out about 9/11. I remember how they stayed on all day. That will always be burned in my memory, one of those where were you when you found out about a huge event in history.
For a while I had an hour long commute to work. I loved how Kidd's ADHD would kick in and they would skip many commercial breaks. I selfishly didn't like it when syndication happened because they had to stay on a strict schedule and so no more 45 minute lengths of time for the crew to talk.
My son discovered he loved Kidd Kraddick as well. He would get up early before school and turn on the show to listen to during breakfast. The show also provided a bonding time for us. We could talk about the show and I remember many times taking him to school when he was grumpy. I would turn on the show and soon we would be laughing together.
Last year I started running and I discovered listening to the show while I ran made it such an enjoyable time of day for me. And it provided time for me to catch up on the show since my job no longer allowed for me to listen all morning at work.
I have so many good memories of the funny bits he engineered. One of the funniest ones I remember is when Dr. Phil's wife was taking someone from Good Morning Texas on a tour of her home. Kidd sent Big Al over there in a bunny suit. I remember laughing so hard watching this unfold on TV with a giant black man in a bunny suit following them up the stairs. I love how I can be driving, running, or just listening and be laughing so hard.
Kidd also made me cry on many occasions. His yearly reading of the letter of letting your children go to school for the first time, breaking and entering Christmas, Kissmas wishes, the random caller who he feels for and gives them exactly what they need and of course Kidd's Kids.
I have never gotten the privilege of meeting Kidd Kraddick so I cannot imagine the grief that the families who got to spend a week at Disney world with him are going through. He gave something huge to so many children and families and to my knowledge never made a dime off of it. In fact, I know in the early days the show members were required to buy their own plane tickets to Disney. I also have no way to understand the depths of grief the staff and cast of the show will be grieving. They were truly a family.
It's hard to allow myself to grieve someone I have never met. But I am going to allow myself some tears because even though Kidd Kraddick had absolutely no idea who I was, I feel like he was family. In fact almost daily I was telling my husband something he said or happened on the show. KKITM was there for me when I had no friends. It sounds corny, but there are times they were my only friends.
In reading many of the comments online I can see he touched so many people in a positive manner. He seemed to really care about people. Someone like him is supposed to get old, retire and then we hear of his passing at age 90. Sad, but expected and we would be grateful for all he added to our lives. This isn't fair that he had to die when he was doing so much good in the world. Besides his charity work, how many people was he supporting with jobs? And how many people have a better day because of listening to him and the show in the morning. I want to believe this is all a cruel joke and he will be on tomorrow laughing at us all, but unfortunately that will not be the case.
I will take this as a reminder to live every day like it's my last and enjoy where I am right now. Also as a reminder to do what I can to make others have a better day as well. Kidd Kraddick made a positive impact on the world using what he had available to him. I can do the same, just in a much smaller way.
Kidd, you will be missed by so very many people, me included. Thank you for the laughs, tears and inspiration.
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
A Second Inside My Mind
I was thinking of doing a post on what it felt like to be me for a day, but that would take too many pages. So next I thought of what it's like to be me for a minute and that was too long. I decided I will attempt to do what it's like to be inside my mind for a second.
Part of being ADHD is the constant onslaught of things that pass through your head. In the space of a second (maybe two but probably not) I will have a thought process that looks like this:
I'm riding in the car and see a bumper sticker on the car in front of me that has a unicorn on it.
It makes me think of my brother-in-law because he has a weird obsession with unicorns.
Which makes me think of my sister-in-law because she is married to him.
She has been running lately and I wonder what her running speed is because that is a current obsession of mine.
I think of my running speed and how I am trying to make it faster by going to the gym and working out with my husband.
I think of how we will be working out tomorrow and I wonder if that guy at the gym that annoys me by all his loud grunting will be there.
I think about how he loves having people watch him work out and how ridiculous he looks. I wonder if I look ridiculous, I don't want people watching me work out. What should I wear to the gym so I will blend in better?
Maybe my black tank-top, but it always has so much cat hair on it.
The cat has been puking so much lately, I wonder if this is normal for a cat or if something is wrong with him. It's weird, every time he eats he seems to need to puke.
I can't imagine puking every time I ate, I would make sure I ate things that taste good coming up. The last time I puked we had eaten Mexican food, that did not taste good coming back up. Chocolate chip cookies would be much better. Speaking of which maybe we should make chocolate chip cookies tonight, it's been a while.
My comment to my husband is, "Let's stop at the grocery store and pick up chocolate chips." When he asks what made me think of that (I secretly think he gets a kick out of my randomness) I tell him the unicorn on the bumper sticker (obviously, heh-heh).
Part of being ADHD is the constant onslaught of things that pass through your head. In the space of a second (maybe two but probably not) I will have a thought process that looks like this:
I'm riding in the car and see a bumper sticker on the car in front of me that has a unicorn on it.
Which makes me think of my sister-in-law because she is married to him.
She has been running lately and I wonder what her running speed is because that is a current obsession of mine.
I think of my running speed and how I am trying to make it faster by going to the gym and working out with my husband.
I think of how we will be working out tomorrow and I wonder if that guy at the gym that annoys me by all his loud grunting will be there.
I think about how he loves having people watch him work out and how ridiculous he looks. I wonder if I look ridiculous, I don't want people watching me work out. What should I wear to the gym so I will blend in better?
Maybe my black tank-top, but it always has so much cat hair on it.
The cat has been puking so much lately, I wonder if this is normal for a cat or if something is wrong with him. It's weird, every time he eats he seems to need to puke.
I can't imagine puking every time I ate, I would make sure I ate things that taste good coming up. The last time I puked we had eaten Mexican food, that did not taste good coming back up. Chocolate chip cookies would be much better. Speaking of which maybe we should make chocolate chip cookies tonight, it's been a while.
My comment to my husband is, "Let's stop at the grocery store and pick up chocolate chips." When he asks what made me think of that (I secretly think he gets a kick out of my randomness) I tell him the unicorn on the bumper sticker (obviously, heh-heh).
Monday, April 8, 2013
What's that thing called?
I have trouble remembering people's names. I know this is a common problem not restricted to people with ADHD, but for me it's just the tip of the iceberg.
Here is the scenario: I meet someone new, they tell me their name, I tell them my name and instantly their name is out of my head. Even if they have the same name as me, their name will escape me, I will just have that nagging thought that there is a reason I should be remembering their name.
I'd like to say I am better with faces, but often I am not. I'd say I'm better with faces than names, but still not very good at it. I blame it on the fact that I am very kinesthetic (that means I learn best by touching things) and since we don't go around touching people it's hard for me to remember them properly. Maybe if I could touch everyone I would have better luck, so if I meet you and rub your arm, you will know what I'm doing and not be totally freaked out.
I feel like I am a typical person with the whole names thing though, I rarely hear a person say, I'm great at remembering names. So I can't blame my ADHD on that so much. But here is where I have trouble that I think other's don't have as much. I often can't remember the names of common everyday objects. In a conversation I will say long descriptive sentences to let the other person know what I am talking about. For example if I want a pen I might say, "Can you hand me that long skinny thingy (I use the word thingy a lot) that writes."
It's frustrating because this happens all the time, my brain stutters and can't seem to grab the name of the object I am trying to describe. I honestly think my brain moves so fast it can't be bothered to go back and remember the word I need. At least that's how I like to think about it, I'm hoping it's not a sign that I am in the early stages of dementia.
One day we had picked up a grab bag of Legos at the Lego store. Best way to buy Legos by the way, for only $8.00 we get a quart size bag full of random Legos. Unfortunately they don't do that anymore. Apparently they send back the random Legos to the Lego factory where they put them into the Lego kits again to sell. At least that is what the store employee told us. She may have been making that all up just to get out of having to make up Lego grab bags. Anyhow, we had picked up a grab bag that had a lot of cute little mugs in it.
I thought they were the cutest thing ever and when I was pointing it out the first time I could not think of the word mug, all I could say was, "Look how cute these hot cocoa cups are" (as you can probably tell I do not drink coffee or I might have called it a coffee cup. To me coffee is a vile smelling substance, but it makes my husband very happy so I put up with him drinking it.) So from now on, in our family, mugs are called hot cocoa cups.
In a family setting we can all laugh about it and make jokes and all is well. In public, not so much. It's really embarrassing when I'm asking someone to pass the salt and I say please pass that cool glass thingy with the white stuff in it.
Can anyone relate? Please tell me you can relate...so I can go on believing this has to do with my ADHD and not that I'm experiencing early onset of that disease where you can't remember anything.
Here is the scenario: I meet someone new, they tell me their name, I tell them my name and instantly their name is out of my head. Even if they have the same name as me, their name will escape me, I will just have that nagging thought that there is a reason I should be remembering their name.
I'd like to say I am better with faces, but often I am not. I'd say I'm better with faces than names, but still not very good at it. I blame it on the fact that I am very kinesthetic (that means I learn best by touching things) and since we don't go around touching people it's hard for me to remember them properly. Maybe if I could touch everyone I would have better luck, so if I meet you and rub your arm, you will know what I'm doing and not be totally freaked out.
I feel like I am a typical person with the whole names thing though, I rarely hear a person say, I'm great at remembering names. So I can't blame my ADHD on that so much. But here is where I have trouble that I think other's don't have as much. I often can't remember the names of common everyday objects. In a conversation I will say long descriptive sentences to let the other person know what I am talking about. For example if I want a pen I might say, "Can you hand me that long skinny thingy (I use the word thingy a lot) that writes."
It's frustrating because this happens all the time, my brain stutters and can't seem to grab the name of the object I am trying to describe. I honestly think my brain moves so fast it can't be bothered to go back and remember the word I need. At least that's how I like to think about it, I'm hoping it's not a sign that I am in the early stages of dementia.
One day we had picked up a grab bag of Legos at the Lego store. Best way to buy Legos by the way, for only $8.00 we get a quart size bag full of random Legos. Unfortunately they don't do that anymore. Apparently they send back the random Legos to the Lego factory where they put them into the Lego kits again to sell. At least that is what the store employee told us. She may have been making that all up just to get out of having to make up Lego grab bags. Anyhow, we had picked up a grab bag that had a lot of cute little mugs in it.
I thought they were the cutest thing ever and when I was pointing it out the first time I could not think of the word mug, all I could say was, "Look how cute these hot cocoa cups are" (as you can probably tell I do not drink coffee or I might have called it a coffee cup. To me coffee is a vile smelling substance, but it makes my husband very happy so I put up with him drinking it.) So from now on, in our family, mugs are called hot cocoa cups.
In a family setting we can all laugh about it and make jokes and all is well. In public, not so much. It's really embarrassing when I'm asking someone to pass the salt and I say please pass that cool glass thingy with the white stuff in it.
Can anyone relate? Please tell me you can relate...so I can go on believing this has to do with my ADHD and not that I'm experiencing early onset of that disease where you can't remember anything.
Friday, April 5, 2013
My Love/Hate Relationship
I don't think I have too many people that hate me. I may have some that I am unaware of, ADHD will do that, make you not realize that you are driving other people crazy. I know that I have some people that are not fond of me, but they haven't unfriended me on Facebook yet, so I don't think of them as hating me. But this isn't about people (I almost forgot that for a second as I am writing this post while chatting on Facebook with someone I know is a friend and also arranging a future babysitter for my youngest daughter). This post is about calendars.
How disappointing you say? Who even has a relationship with calendars? I do...and it is a love/hate relationship. I love putting together a calendar. I love getting new ones and putting all I have to do on them. I love looking at all the fabulous calendars in an office supply store. (Which by the way are awesome stores. I love love love office supplies. And I can't explain why. It's not like I need many of them. I just think it would be cool to have a desk filled with every office supply imaginable...just in case someone was in need of a pink paperclip in the shape of a butterfly.)
So I'm really great at getting a calendar and starting to fill everything in. And then a day passes. I look at the calendar many times during the day and it helps me to remember that my children will be home from school at 3:30, I need to cook dinner for everyone at 5:00 and I have a doctors appointment in 2 weeks.
Then day 2 passes. I see that the kids will be arriving home from school at 3:30 (like they always do...imagine that), I need to cook everyone dinner they will refuse to eat at 5:00 (I'm so excited) and I have a doctors appointment in 1 weeks and 6 days. Even when I am busy and have a lot on the calendar, I look at it and say why am I looking at this, I know what I have to do today.
By day 3 I know what is on the calendar and I don't bother looking at it. In two weeks I miss the doctors appointment because I forgot to look at the calendar. After a few months I try all over again. I want so bad to be one of those organized mom's who uses a calender and never misses an event. But I'm not. I've even tried putting a calendar on the fridge because I know I have to look there because I go to the fridge all the time. That one worked for a little while, but then I forgot to look at that one as well.
Now that I am a counselor I really do need to use a calendar. It's important that I am at the appointments when I say I am going to be. For some reason people don't like it when they show up and I don't. Thankfully we now have smart phones. I don't think they are quite smart enough though. If they were really smart I would be able to set up an appointment with a client, it would overhear me and put it on my calendar. Then a little while before the appointment it would let me know I had an appointment. Then I wouldn't even have to look at my calendar anymore. See...now that is a smart phone.
I have decided what I really need is to get really rich and have a personal assistant. The help wanted ad would look something like this:
Looking to hire a Personal Assistant. I need someone who can keep track of my calender and remind me when I need to be places. And by remind I mean tell me enough time in advance so I can get ready, and keep reminding me when I forget 2 minutes later...all while not being annoying about it. And if you could drive me there too, that would be great, because I really don't like driving. I get lost a lot. And you get bonus points if you clean my house. Please do not apply if you have ADHD, I have enough of that swirling around me as it is.
So now all I have to do is make lots of money, which requires me to actually show up for my counseling sessions, which requires me to keep track of my calendar...can you see the catch-22 I am in? Maybe I will just keep blogging instead and hope lots of people love my blog and I can get rich through it. All I have to do is remember to keep writing posts, an assistant would really help with that as well. Hey, throw me a bone please...share my blog with some people with connections. I will have my assistant reward you handsomely.
How disappointing you say? Who even has a relationship with calendars? I do...and it is a love/hate relationship. I love putting together a calendar. I love getting new ones and putting all I have to do on them. I love looking at all the fabulous calendars in an office supply store. (Which by the way are awesome stores. I love love love office supplies. And I can't explain why. It's not like I need many of them. I just think it would be cool to have a desk filled with every office supply imaginable...just in case someone was in need of a pink paperclip in the shape of a butterfly.)
So I'm really great at getting a calendar and starting to fill everything in. And then a day passes. I look at the calendar many times during the day and it helps me to remember that my children will be home from school at 3:30, I need to cook dinner for everyone at 5:00 and I have a doctors appointment in 2 weeks.
Then day 2 passes. I see that the kids will be arriving home from school at 3:30 (like they always do...imagine that), I need to cook everyone dinner they will refuse to eat at 5:00 (I'm so excited) and I have a doctors appointment in 1 weeks and 6 days. Even when I am busy and have a lot on the calendar, I look at it and say why am I looking at this, I know what I have to do today.
By day 3 I know what is on the calendar and I don't bother looking at it. In two weeks I miss the doctors appointment because I forgot to look at the calendar. After a few months I try all over again. I want so bad to be one of those organized mom's who uses a calender and never misses an event. But I'm not. I've even tried putting a calendar on the fridge because I know I have to look there because I go to the fridge all the time. That one worked for a little while, but then I forgot to look at that one as well.
Now that I am a counselor I really do need to use a calendar. It's important that I am at the appointments when I say I am going to be. For some reason people don't like it when they show up and I don't. Thankfully we now have smart phones. I don't think they are quite smart enough though. If they were really smart I would be able to set up an appointment with a client, it would overhear me and put it on my calendar. Then a little while before the appointment it would let me know I had an appointment. Then I wouldn't even have to look at my calendar anymore. See...now that is a smart phone.
I have decided what I really need is to get really rich and have a personal assistant. The help wanted ad would look something like this:
Looking to hire a Personal Assistant. I need someone who can keep track of my calender and remind me when I need to be places. And by remind I mean tell me enough time in advance so I can get ready, and keep reminding me when I forget 2 minutes later...all while not being annoying about it. And if you could drive me there too, that would be great, because I really don't like driving. I get lost a lot. And you get bonus points if you clean my house. Please do not apply if you have ADHD, I have enough of that swirling around me as it is.
So now all I have to do is make lots of money, which requires me to actually show up for my counseling sessions, which requires me to keep track of my calendar...can you see the catch-22 I am in? Maybe I will just keep blogging instead and hope lots of people love my blog and I can get rich through it. All I have to do is remember to keep writing posts, an assistant would really help with that as well. Hey, throw me a bone please...share my blog with some people with connections. I will have my assistant reward you handsomely.
Monday, April 1, 2013
Racing...ADHD style
So I have been a little obsessed with running lately. For example I looked at my last 10 posts on Facebook and they all had the word run in them. I've read some blog posts about the race I ran last week and figured I had to get on the bandwagon and post as well. I didn't take any pictures during the race so I will use my mad illustrating skills.
I ran my first half-marathon last weekend with my friend Erin. And while running helps with ADHD, my ADHD certainly hindered my pre-race preparation. I knew we had to get up super early so I laid out everything the night before...mostly. I stressed over the weather, it was going to be cold and windy, but what if it warmed up, what layers could I take off and throw away in the street to be given to charity. Why is it when I have to choose something from my closet to give to charity suddenly every sweatshirt became my favorite sweatshirt, even if I had not worn it in years. Finally my sweet husband offered up one of his.
So I had my outfit all ready, my nutrition, my new running belt, my number, my shoes and oh yeah, I had a certain pair of socks I wanted so I put them in the washer. I was ready to go.
The alarm went off the next morning at 5am and the first thing out of my mouth was, "Why do I sign up for these things?" But I got up and put on my running clothes (I had conveniently showered the night before...see I was prepared.) Uh oh, my socks were still in the washer. And I had to have those socks. I dug them out and put them by themselves in the dryer.
I tried to continue getting ready, but this disrupted my flow. All I could think about was my socks. I also realized I hadn't taken my medicine I have to take an hour before eating so I could not eat at home. I had to take breakfast on the go. I did the best I could at getting ready, luckily I had my husband helping me out and got everything together. Went to check on the socks and they were still wettish so he put them in the microwave for me. I was terrified of my socks catching on fire, because without these socks I could not run. Not really, I run in other socks all the time, but that was the state I was in.
On a random side note....can I tell you that the stupid huge ad that pops up in the corner of my screen is really annoying because I can't see what I am typing and even though I keep running spyware and virus checks it insists on staying there.
Okay continuing on...we finally get it all together...it looks like I am going on vacation for a week, not running 13.1 miles, but I believe I have everything I need.
We were meeting friends a few miles away and all driving in together. We just about get to our meeting spot and I realize I have forgotten my water bottle.
Now let me tell you about my water bottle. It is a really cool water bottle. It is shaped to follow the curve of your back and has a hooked part so you can hang it on the back of your pants. I bought the bottle specifically to run this race with. I am not the best runner ever (or even a fair runner) and wanted to be sure I had water with me. So I was very distressed at the thought that I had forgotten something so important. But I could not go back for it. I was sad.
In real life the water bottle doesn't really look like a snake with a sombrero. For real pics of it go to simplehydration.com. (And no I didn't get paid to endorse this water bottle, I paid almost full price for it...it's just really great and I love it...except for the lid's a bit hard to open while running. Almost perfect though).
Continuing on...I told everyone about my plight and my friend offered me her bottle because she probably wasn't going to run with it. I decided that I would be fine getting water from the water stations and being that it was cold out, it should be enough. But my ADHD had kicked in. Even though I knew in my head that I was fine and would run without water I could not stop talking about the water bottle. This prompted my friends to keep offering me solutions. I did not want solutions, I already had a solution, I just could not stop talking about the problem.
Finally we get to the race...about 45 minutes earlier than we needed to be (I totally could have gone back for the water bottle). I was afraid there was going to be crazy traffic, apparently not. So we all sat and chatted for a while. I'm sure it was more I chatted and they listened politely wondering if they could signal each other to have me thrown out of the car.
Now it was race time...and I'm get a little more nervous. The furthest I have ever run is 10 miles the previous Saturday and that was really hard. I was going to run 13.1 miles today. We wait in line to use a porta-potty. Side note...I hate porta-potties and will do anything to avoid them. But when you have to go and you have 13 miles of running ahead of you, you go.
Next we went to go get in line. There were over 10,000 people racing and we were back in corral 13. So we had a ways to walk, in fact the race started before we got back to our corral. Which freaked people out that were supposed to be in the front corrals. They were pushing through the crowd to get to their spot. I figured we all had those time thingys on our shoes, who cares when you actually cross the start line.
We finally pushed our way into our corral which was a good place to be. Much less wind and cold when you are surrounded by thousands of people. And 25 minutes later we were off. I was finally working on completing this goal I had set for myself about 6 months prior. So here is a breakdown of the miles of the race.
Mile 1: This is so much fun, the band was good, the people running around me are about my pace, my friend is staying with me for a while, I can do this.
Mile 2: Erin has to pee, I didn't have to, but when someone talks about having to pee then you have to pee and I might as well being as we had stopped already anyhow. And it felt better to get that out of the way.
Mile 3: Still doing great, the first half is up-hill, but we have been training on hills and so it's not a big deal. I am still able to chatter away the entire time, so I know I am running an okay speed for now. Bands are not quite as good now. In fact we ran past what appeared to be an older Dallas socialite with lots of plastic surgery singing ZZ Top by herself while wearing a full length fur coat. (Have I even mentioned yet that there are bands every mile? If not, there are.)
Mile 4: I slow down, a lot, Erin decides it's time for her to go do her own thing. This was planned and I was surprised she stayed with me as long as she did. Especially with my incessant chattering. Now it's just me and the road (well and the thousands of people around me) for another 9 miles.
Mile 5: Still feeling good, but getting warm. I take off my sweatshirt, but can't bear to throw it away. I know my husband will be seeing me at mile 6 so I decide to hold on to it. By the way I'm texting and running...kinda tells you how fast I was going.
Mile 6: Yay...here is my husband...I give him my sweatshirt (technically it's his sweatshirt) he runs with me for a second and I tell him how great I feel and how good it's going.
Mile 7: I pass the point where the relay runners trade off. I think I'm so glad I am running the whole thing...I'm still feeling great.
Mile 8: We finally reach the highest point of the race...the rest is all downhill. By the way I congratulate myself every time we go up a steepish hill...most everyone stops to walk...but not me, I've been training on hills so I keep going.
Mile 9: I think I'm going to die. It's kinda downhill, but suddenly my legs weigh 1000 pounds each. I want to stop and walk so badly, but my ego will not let me. But I kinda have to pee and if I go pee I have to wait in line and then get to sit down for a minute. Sounds like a fantastic plan to me. Suddenly the porta-potty is a welcomed sight.
Mile 10-13: These are all a painful blur. Who said the last 3 miles will just happen on race day? I've only ran 10 miles one time in my life. That was not enough training apparently. I got to see my husband at mile 10...this time I was not so positive. But I kept going.
Finally someone says we have 200 yards to the finish line. I'm trying to work out in my head if it's 2/3 of a football field or 2 football fields. It felt more like 100 football fields. It seriously was the longest 200 yards ever. To make matters worse photographers are taking my picture left and right. I don't have it in me to even pretend like I am a champion and almost done. My husband texts me to tell me where he is. I don't even care that I'm close to the finish line, I don't have anything left in me to sprint for the finish. Instead I read his text and look around at all the people. The Dallas cheerleaders were there, looking tired as well. Being as they had been cheering for the last 2 hours I don't blame them.
And I cross the finish line. I did it.
Unfortunately the way it's set up I have to walk through an area with drinks and food before I can find my husband. All I want is to see him, but I get enough clarity to realize I should take everything in sight to eat and drink. I'm also handed my medal. That is awesome...it's really heavy and feels like I must have done something amazing to get it. I put it on so my hands are free to grab bananas, bagels and chocolate milk. Finally I'm out of that mess and into my husbands arms. I cried...partly because I did it, but mostly because I was completely and utterly spent.
Erin is there waiting as well, well sitting on the ground eating and drinking as much as she can. We finally get slightly rested and take some pics. In the spirit of my blog I will draw what the pics looked like.
Then we get some bad news from the husbands...the car is about a 1/2 mile away. That was a very very very long 1/2 mile.
My favorite comment was from my son who saw my medal and asked if I had won the race...I had to let him know that no I did not win it. He then asked if I got 6th place...how about 9000ish place. But who cares...I did it!!
I ran my first half-marathon last weekend with my friend Erin. And while running helps with ADHD, my ADHD certainly hindered my pre-race preparation. I knew we had to get up super early so I laid out everything the night before...mostly. I stressed over the weather, it was going to be cold and windy, but what if it warmed up, what layers could I take off and throw away in the street to be given to charity. Why is it when I have to choose something from my closet to give to charity suddenly every sweatshirt became my favorite sweatshirt, even if I had not worn it in years. Finally my sweet husband offered up one of his.
So I had my outfit all ready, my nutrition, my new running belt, my number, my shoes and oh yeah, I had a certain pair of socks I wanted so I put them in the washer. I was ready to go.
The alarm went off the next morning at 5am and the first thing out of my mouth was, "Why do I sign up for these things?" But I got up and put on my running clothes (I had conveniently showered the night before...see I was prepared.) Uh oh, my socks were still in the washer. And I had to have those socks. I dug them out and put them by themselves in the dryer.
I tried to continue getting ready, but this disrupted my flow. All I could think about was my socks. I also realized I hadn't taken my medicine I have to take an hour before eating so I could not eat at home. I had to take breakfast on the go. I did the best I could at getting ready, luckily I had my husband helping me out and got everything together. Went to check on the socks and they were still wettish so he put them in the microwave for me. I was terrified of my socks catching on fire, because without these socks I could not run. Not really, I run in other socks all the time, but that was the state I was in.
On a random side note....can I tell you that the stupid huge ad that pops up in the corner of my screen is really annoying because I can't see what I am typing and even though I keep running spyware and virus checks it insists on staying there.
Okay continuing on...we finally get it all together...it looks like I am going on vacation for a week, not running 13.1 miles, but I believe I have everything I need.
We were meeting friends a few miles away and all driving in together. We just about get to our meeting spot and I realize I have forgotten my water bottle.
Now let me tell you about my water bottle. It is a really cool water bottle. It is shaped to follow the curve of your back and has a hooked part so you can hang it on the back of your pants. I bought the bottle specifically to run this race with. I am not the best runner ever (or even a fair runner) and wanted to be sure I had water with me. So I was very distressed at the thought that I had forgotten something so important. But I could not go back for it. I was sad.
In real life the water bottle doesn't really look like a snake with a sombrero. For real pics of it go to simplehydration.com. (And no I didn't get paid to endorse this water bottle, I paid almost full price for it...it's just really great and I love it...except for the lid's a bit hard to open while running. Almost perfect though).
Continuing on...I told everyone about my plight and my friend offered me her bottle because she probably wasn't going to run with it. I decided that I would be fine getting water from the water stations and being that it was cold out, it should be enough. But my ADHD had kicked in. Even though I knew in my head that I was fine and would run without water I could not stop talking about the water bottle. This prompted my friends to keep offering me solutions. I did not want solutions, I already had a solution, I just could not stop talking about the problem.
Finally we get to the race...about 45 minutes earlier than we needed to be (I totally could have gone back for the water bottle). I was afraid there was going to be crazy traffic, apparently not. So we all sat and chatted for a while. I'm sure it was more I chatted and they listened politely wondering if they could signal each other to have me thrown out of the car.
Now it was race time...and I'm get a little more nervous. The furthest I have ever run is 10 miles the previous Saturday and that was really hard. I was going to run 13.1 miles today. We wait in line to use a porta-potty. Side note...I hate porta-potties and will do anything to avoid them. But when you have to go and you have 13 miles of running ahead of you, you go.
Next we went to go get in line. There were over 10,000 people racing and we were back in corral 13. So we had a ways to walk, in fact the race started before we got back to our corral. Which freaked people out that were supposed to be in the front corrals. They were pushing through the crowd to get to their spot. I figured we all had those time thingys on our shoes, who cares when you actually cross the start line.
We finally pushed our way into our corral which was a good place to be. Much less wind and cold when you are surrounded by thousands of people. And 25 minutes later we were off. I was finally working on completing this goal I had set for myself about 6 months prior. So here is a breakdown of the miles of the race.
Mile 1: This is so much fun, the band was good, the people running around me are about my pace, my friend is staying with me for a while, I can do this.
Mile 2: Erin has to pee, I didn't have to, but when someone talks about having to pee then you have to pee and I might as well being as we had stopped already anyhow. And it felt better to get that out of the way.
Mile 3: Still doing great, the first half is up-hill, but we have been training on hills and so it's not a big deal. I am still able to chatter away the entire time, so I know I am running an okay speed for now. Bands are not quite as good now. In fact we ran past what appeared to be an older Dallas socialite with lots of plastic surgery singing ZZ Top by herself while wearing a full length fur coat. (Have I even mentioned yet that there are bands every mile? If not, there are.)
Mile 4: I slow down, a lot, Erin decides it's time for her to go do her own thing. This was planned and I was surprised she stayed with me as long as she did. Especially with my incessant chattering. Now it's just me and the road (well and the thousands of people around me) for another 9 miles.
Mile 5: Still feeling good, but getting warm. I take off my sweatshirt, but can't bear to throw it away. I know my husband will be seeing me at mile 6 so I decide to hold on to it. By the way I'm texting and running...kinda tells you how fast I was going.
Mile 6: Yay...here is my husband...I give him my sweatshirt (technically it's his sweatshirt) he runs with me for a second and I tell him how great I feel and how good it's going.
Mile 7: I pass the point where the relay runners trade off. I think I'm so glad I am running the whole thing...I'm still feeling great.
Mile 8: We finally reach the highest point of the race...the rest is all downhill. By the way I congratulate myself every time we go up a steepish hill...most everyone stops to walk...but not me, I've been training on hills so I keep going.
Mile 9: I think I'm going to die. It's kinda downhill, but suddenly my legs weigh 1000 pounds each. I want to stop and walk so badly, but my ego will not let me. But I kinda have to pee and if I go pee I have to wait in line and then get to sit down for a minute. Sounds like a fantastic plan to me. Suddenly the porta-potty is a welcomed sight.
Mile 10-13: These are all a painful blur. Who said the last 3 miles will just happen on race day? I've only ran 10 miles one time in my life. That was not enough training apparently. I got to see my husband at mile 10...this time I was not so positive. But I kept going.
Finally someone says we have 200 yards to the finish line. I'm trying to work out in my head if it's 2/3 of a football field or 2 football fields. It felt more like 100 football fields. It seriously was the longest 200 yards ever. To make matters worse photographers are taking my picture left and right. I don't have it in me to even pretend like I am a champion and almost done. My husband texts me to tell me where he is. I don't even care that I'm close to the finish line, I don't have anything left in me to sprint for the finish. Instead I read his text and look around at all the people. The Dallas cheerleaders were there, looking tired as well. Being as they had been cheering for the last 2 hours I don't blame them.
And I cross the finish line. I did it.
Unfortunately the way it's set up I have to walk through an area with drinks and food before I can find my husband. All I want is to see him, but I get enough clarity to realize I should take everything in sight to eat and drink. I'm also handed my medal. That is awesome...it's really heavy and feels like I must have done something amazing to get it. I put it on so my hands are free to grab bananas, bagels and chocolate milk. Finally I'm out of that mess and into my husbands arms. I cried...partly because I did it, but mostly because I was completely and utterly spent.
Erin is there waiting as well, well sitting on the ground eating and drinking as much as she can. We finally get slightly rested and take some pics. In the spirit of my blog I will draw what the pics looked like.
Then we get some bad news from the husbands...the car is about a 1/2 mile away. That was a very very very long 1/2 mile.
My favorite comment was from my son who saw my medal and asked if I had won the race...I had to let him know that no I did not win it. He then asked if I got 6th place...how about 9000ish place. But who cares...I did it!!
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
How to follow a recipe
I'm sure this will surprise you, but I have trouble following a recipe. It's not that I can't follow the recipe exactly. I can. I can make chocolate chip cookies that are to die for. Seriously, you will eat one and come back begging for more. I just made some for work at Christmas time and I was handing them out in the hallway to some people I did not work with directly. A few minutes later we get a knock on our office door and it was one of the employees begging for another cookie. And I follow the recipe on the back of the bag of chocolate chips exactly. But I digress.
Most of the time recipes are a little difficult for me. One of the problems is there are a lot of ingredients I don't like to eat, such as tomatoes, onions, peppers and the like and so when they are in a recipe I just substitute them with mushrooms. Because I really, really like mushrooms. It usually works, but salsa comes out a bit differently...not sure why.
Another problem is I have a hard time believing recipes. I often think if a little of an ingredient is good, then more must be better. Or I just skip ingredients I don't have on hand figuring they weren't that important anyhow. Or the recipe jumps around on the page and I start making the next recipe down. So I will be making brownies and then start adding in the ingredients for lasagne.
The last problem is I prefer not to use a recipe at all. I have a theory that if you like everything you put into a dish, then it has to come out tasting yummy. Which it actually often does, but sometimes it doesn't work so well.
Take today as an example. It's my husbands birthday today (happy birthday sweetie...hope I am spoiling you enough). He loves my chocolate chip cookies (see above). And he loves chocolate ice cream. And he might have mentioned that homemade ice cream sandwiches would be super yummy for his birthday. And I agreed. So I decided that is what I would make today.
No need to look up a recipe...I got the cookie part down, and I know how to buy chocolate ice cream so this was a no-brainer right? I was so sure of myself I didn't even bother to look at Pinterest first. I almost always at least look there and then do my own thing, but I was confidant. So I made the cookies. Now when I said I make incredibly yummy chocolate chip cookies, what I really meant is I am really good at getting out all the ingredients while my husband actually makes the cookies. And then I am really good at spooning them on the pan to cook.
I forgot about that part today and they did not look like they always do when they come out of the oven. In fact they were very small and thick, not large and kinda flat like usual. Now remember I was using them to make ice cream sandwiches so small and thick was not the preferred type of cookie I was going for. But I tasted a bunch to make sure they were edible and they still tasted wonderful so I would make it work.
I was running out of time so I let them mostly cool down and got out the ice cream. I tried spooning some ice cream on the cookie and it wasn't going so well so I decided to melt the ice cream just a bit and stir it all up and then it plopped on the cookies very nicely. I put on a second cookie, wrapped it in waxed paper and popped them all in the freezer.
I was so proud of myself for pulling this off and could not wait for dinner to be over to surprise my husband.
The time was here and I pulled out my masterpieces. My son opened his up first and his comment was, "Is the freezer working? Mine is all melted." Well that is not what a master chef wants to hear when she unveils her amazing dessert. I knew the freezer was working so something else had to be the matter. When everyone had the same dilemma my sweet husband inquired if I had let the cookies cool all the way before I put them together. Perhaps the ice cream had melted out of the center of the cookies.
Hmmm...well maybe I meant to make frozen chocolate chip cookies soaked in chocolate ice cream. They were still super yummy, although incredibly messy.
Most of the time recipes are a little difficult for me. One of the problems is there are a lot of ingredients I don't like to eat, such as tomatoes, onions, peppers and the like and so when they are in a recipe I just substitute them with mushrooms. Because I really, really like mushrooms. It usually works, but salsa comes out a bit differently...not sure why.
Another problem is I have a hard time believing recipes. I often think if a little of an ingredient is good, then more must be better. Or I just skip ingredients I don't have on hand figuring they weren't that important anyhow. Or the recipe jumps around on the page and I start making the next recipe down. So I will be making brownies and then start adding in the ingredients for lasagne.
The last problem is I prefer not to use a recipe at all. I have a theory that if you like everything you put into a dish, then it has to come out tasting yummy. Which it actually often does, but sometimes it doesn't work so well.
Take today as an example. It's my husbands birthday today (happy birthday sweetie...hope I am spoiling you enough). He loves my chocolate chip cookies (see above). And he loves chocolate ice cream. And he might have mentioned that homemade ice cream sandwiches would be super yummy for his birthday. And I agreed. So I decided that is what I would make today.
No need to look up a recipe...I got the cookie part down, and I know how to buy chocolate ice cream so this was a no-brainer right? I was so sure of myself I didn't even bother to look at Pinterest first. I almost always at least look there and then do my own thing, but I was confidant. So I made the cookies. Now when I said I make incredibly yummy chocolate chip cookies, what I really meant is I am really good at getting out all the ingredients while my husband actually makes the cookies. And then I am really good at spooning them on the pan to cook.
I forgot about that part today and they did not look like they always do when they come out of the oven. In fact they were very small and thick, not large and kinda flat like usual. Now remember I was using them to make ice cream sandwiches so small and thick was not the preferred type of cookie I was going for. But I tasted a bunch to make sure they were edible and they still tasted wonderful so I would make it work.
I was running out of time so I let them mostly cool down and got out the ice cream. I tried spooning some ice cream on the cookie and it wasn't going so well so I decided to melt the ice cream just a bit and stir it all up and then it plopped on the cookies very nicely. I put on a second cookie, wrapped it in waxed paper and popped them all in the freezer.
I was so proud of myself for pulling this off and could not wait for dinner to be over to surprise my husband.
The time was here and I pulled out my masterpieces. My son opened his up first and his comment was, "Is the freezer working? Mine is all melted." Well that is not what a master chef wants to hear when she unveils her amazing dessert. I knew the freezer was working so something else had to be the matter. When everyone had the same dilemma my sweet husband inquired if I had let the cookies cool all the way before I put them together. Perhaps the ice cream had melted out of the center of the cookies.
Hmmm...well maybe I meant to make frozen chocolate chip cookies soaked in chocolate ice cream. They were still super yummy, although incredibly messy.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Happy Belated Christmas
Every year for as long as I can remember I have sent out elaborately awesome Christmas cards. When I only had one kid I lovingly hand stamped each one.
Then I had a couple more kids and started coming up with creatively cute cards that included I spy and crossword puzzles that intertwined tidbits from our year.
More recently as I've been in school I have been sending the typical photo card, but at least I designed them myself in photo shop and still included a Christmas letter.
Then came this year. I had great intentions. I was going to do a cute card based on my blog. I had it all planned out...in my head. I was going to do it right after Thanksgiving. But I work now so it would have to happen on the weekend. No problem, I had plenty of those before Christmas. So the weekend after Thanksgiving we got to go on a short trip to visit friends in Florida. Lots of fun, I even got a surprise graduation party, but no Christmas card creating.
The next weekend I got sick...horribly, terribly sick. The lay on the couch and watch movies all weekend kind of sick. I didn't even think about Christmas cards.
Next weekend...we had the kids, first time in 3 weeks we had the kids for the weekend and again fun was had instead of Christmas cards.
All of the sudden it was the weekend before Christmas. When did this happen? I still had presents to wrap and throughout the month I had been transforming my craft room into a cute future counseling office. So, for the first time in as many years as I can remember...no Christmas cards were to be sent. So instead I offer you this:
Happy Belated Christmas from our family to yours.
And as an extra bonus...here is what our Christmas letter might have said:
Dear Friends and Family,
Hope your year has been as fantastic as ours has been. Because we are the most organized and put together family you have ever laid eyes upon we have accomplished much this year (if by much you mean our children are still alive and well and we haven't burned the house down).
Husband got promoted and now owns Home Depot. I know it looks like he still works in the stores, but he doesn't like to brag and show off, so he pretends he is a supervisor in love with his job. He has been working out this year and can pick up a small car and throw it across the street. The neighbors for some reason haven't loved this, but I think it's handy for that annoying neighbor who loves to park right by the stop sign.
I started running this year and have broken all sorts of records (such as being able to run a mile faster than the fastest snail). I graduated and now run a psych hospital (again no bragging so it appears I work there part time as a lowly therapist). I continue to run her taxi service with help from loving husband.
Oldest daughter graduated high school and decided Texas was not big enough for her, she has taken over North Carolina. She almost passed her drivers test on the first attempt, but decided driving was too mainstream. Why drive when you can walk somewhere. She too has picked up running and has broken some records herself (such as running a longer distance in a day than a turtle).
Son has become a pro-bowler this year. He consistently breaks new records himself (such as getting a higher score than his little sister every.single.time.) He also played a starring role in the high school musical, Annie. He was in charge of scurrying up the stairs as they rolled them off the stage in order to lift up the curtains. The show would not have happened if it had not been for him.
Youngest daughter has become an engineer this year. She has built amazing towns, pools, amusements parks and the like (in Mine Craft). She also was prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse due to her hours of training (in Mine Craft).
The cats continue to puke and pee on the carpet in a talented manner.
We have traveled to many exotic destinations (and by exotic I mean we left our neighborhood).
So for the two of you who are not on Facebook and hadn't already seen pictures of all our amazing accomplishments, we hope you enjoyed reading about how fantastic we all are :P
Merry Belated Christmas!! And may your new year be more focused than mine will be.
Then I had a couple more kids and started coming up with creatively cute cards that included I spy and crossword puzzles that intertwined tidbits from our year.
More recently as I've been in school I have been sending the typical photo card, but at least I designed them myself in photo shop and still included a Christmas letter.
Then came this year. I had great intentions. I was going to do a cute card based on my blog. I had it all planned out...in my head. I was going to do it right after Thanksgiving. But I work now so it would have to happen on the weekend. No problem, I had plenty of those before Christmas. So the weekend after Thanksgiving we got to go on a short trip to visit friends in Florida. Lots of fun, I even got a surprise graduation party, but no Christmas card creating.
The next weekend I got sick...horribly, terribly sick. The lay on the couch and watch movies all weekend kind of sick. I didn't even think about Christmas cards.
Next weekend...we had the kids, first time in 3 weeks we had the kids for the weekend and again fun was had instead of Christmas cards.
All of the sudden it was the weekend before Christmas. When did this happen? I still had presents to wrap and throughout the month I had been transforming my craft room into a cute future counseling office. So, for the first time in as many years as I can remember...no Christmas cards were to be sent. So instead I offer you this:
Happy Belated Christmas from our family to yours.
And as an extra bonus...here is what our Christmas letter might have said:
Dear Friends and Family,
Hope your year has been as fantastic as ours has been. Because we are the most organized and put together family you have ever laid eyes upon we have accomplished much this year (if by much you mean our children are still alive and well and we haven't burned the house down).
Husband got promoted and now owns Home Depot. I know it looks like he still works in the stores, but he doesn't like to brag and show off, so he pretends he is a supervisor in love with his job. He has been working out this year and can pick up a small car and throw it across the street. The neighbors for some reason haven't loved this, but I think it's handy for that annoying neighbor who loves to park right by the stop sign.
I started running this year and have broken all sorts of records (such as being able to run a mile faster than the fastest snail). I graduated and now run a psych hospital (again no bragging so it appears I work there part time as a lowly therapist). I continue to run her taxi service with help from loving husband.
Oldest daughter graduated high school and decided Texas was not big enough for her, she has taken over North Carolina. She almost passed her drivers test on the first attempt, but decided driving was too mainstream. Why drive when you can walk somewhere. She too has picked up running and has broken some records herself (such as running a longer distance in a day than a turtle).
Son has become a pro-bowler this year. He consistently breaks new records himself (such as getting a higher score than his little sister every.single.time.) He also played a starring role in the high school musical, Annie. He was in charge of scurrying up the stairs as they rolled them off the stage in order to lift up the curtains. The show would not have happened if it had not been for him.
Youngest daughter has become an engineer this year. She has built amazing towns, pools, amusements parks and the like (in Mine Craft). She also was prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse due to her hours of training (in Mine Craft).
The cats continue to puke and pee on the carpet in a talented manner.
We have traveled to many exotic destinations (and by exotic I mean we left our neighborhood).
So for the two of you who are not on Facebook and hadn't already seen pictures of all our amazing accomplishments, we hope you enjoyed reading about how fantastic we all are :P
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