Focused Friday: Dude...Where's My Phone?

When I started this blog I wanted to have one day a week dedicated to the positive aspects of ADHD and/or ways to cope with it.  I had a few stumbling blocks.  First what to call it.  It had to have a name before I could write it.  Then I had to remember to write the post on the correct day (I know I could do it before hand and just post it on Friday, but I haven't gotten that organized yet.)

But now I have a name and I remembered to write the post and I am posting this on the right day.

So here goes.

My husband recently brought it to my attention that I lose my phone...a lot.  This statement actually surprised me because it seems like my phone is something I hang onto very well.  I use it for everything and I am constantly making sure I have it.

But last night I needed my phone for an important task.  And I could not find the phone.  I looked in the usual places and even out in the car.

I asked my husband to call it.  We could not hear it ring.  I remembered the last time I used it and so knew it wasn't lost forever.  It had to be around here somewhere.

And then we found it in the bathroom.  I had left it there when I went to wash my hands after cleaning up the cat poop.  I don't consider that losing my phone, but my husband had a point.  He has to call my phone to help me locate it at least once or twice a week.  And I have probably done that for him once....if that.  So I would say I misplace my phone often.  Losing it would be leaving it at the store or library or on top of my car and driving off.

I used to lose my purse and keys all the time as well.  At least I used to misplace them.  Although I went through a phase where I was leaving the keys on top of the car and driving off.  I'm not sure how I drove off with my keys on top of the car, but I distinctly remember looking for my beat up keys on the street more often than I would like to admit.  Luckily those days seem to be over.

But I finally figured out a way to not misplace my purse anymore.  I gave it a home.  I know this sounds incredibly basic for the non-ADHD person, but for me it was a completely foreign idea.  I always came home and plopped my purse wherever.  It did not have it's own special spot.

I went to the store and bought cubbies and assigned each person in the family a cubby.  That is where shoes, purses, hats and all things important for leaving the house were to stay.  And for me when my purse came off my shoulder I made myself put it in the cubby, no matter what.  And after a while it actually became a habit.

For me it has been a life changing event.  I no longer have to search for my purse and keys.  They are always in the cubby.  The time saved for looking for my purse has given me time to do more important things, like check Facebook, write a blog or finish that last level on that iPad game.

Unfortunately this strategy does not work for my phone.  But I'm not too bothered by how much I misplace it.  My husband can always call it for me right?  And as soon as I found my phone I realized I could not remember what the super important task was I needed to do.  But I know exactly where my purse is...so all is well!!

ADHD vs. OCD An exhaustive study involving my cats

We have three cats.  One cat pees on the carpet so she is an outside cat.  The other two are inside cats.  We have the new kitten Abby and the old fat cat Tigger.  (I realize I have already established this fact, but just wanted to make sure my new readers were "in the know" :-)

(I bet you were surprised that Tigger is orange...weird right?)

Abby the kitten is the epitome of ADHD.  She has all three facets of ADHD.  She is distracted...I can call her and she starts to come, then she sees a piece of paper on the floor and decides to pounce on that instead.

She is impulsive...She decides at the last minute that it would be a great idea to jump from the table to the top of the bookshelf and falls to the floor instead.

She is hyperactive...she can go up the stairs in less than a second and she finds it amusing to bite your toes and jump around crazily on the bed at 2am.

Tigger on the other hand is OCD.  Things have to be just right for him.  If you are wearing black he ensures that it is covered in just the right amount of fur.

If you don't make the bed he will not sleep on the sheets.  He will find a section of the comforter to sleep on.

If you clean up all the puke he has recently placed strategically on the floor he will work overtime to get it back right where you are sure to step in it when getting up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom.

And he is also determined.  I have allergies.  One of the things I am most allergic to is cats.  Why do I have cats you ask?  Because I can.  And I really like cats...most of the time.  I take lots of allergy medicine anyways...so as long as I continue it (by not forgetting to pick up the prescription at the store for a week and wondering why my eyes look like I've been crying for the last 3 days) I'm fine.  The one thing I require is for the cats to not sleep by my head.  I wake up stuffier if a cat sleeps by my head all night so that is something I will not tolerate.

Tigger is persistent...every single night he tries to sleep on my pillow with me.  It's like his OCD is saying, "here is where I must sleep for the universe to keep in balance."

He never ever sleeps on my husbands pillow.  Ever.  Even though he is welcome there.  And he is also immovable.  When I try to shoo him off he puts down some electromagnetic force and it is impossible to get him to move.  Then I try and lift him.  His claws extend and he will bring the pillow with him if I manage to get him up.

This happens every night.  You would think he would get the message that I do not want him there.  All he is learning is how to be sneaky about it.  If I'm awake he will casually walk up to the head of the bed and if I say NO he plops down and gives me a look that says, "what...I was just going to lay down right here, by your side...I had no intention of going up to your pillow."  If I say no enough he will eventually give up and go down by my feet.  And then I wake up in the middle of the night and there he is curled up around my head. 

And then I yell at him which wakes up Abby who then goes into a hyperactive fit and starts jumping all over me and biting my toes. 

Chocolate and Dinosaurs

We went on our little road trip.  And it was the type of road trip I have always dreamed about.  The kind where I see something I want to stop at and we actually stop at it.  I've been on many road trips before, but never with someone I like so much as my husband.  (We have only been married for two years). 

Day one of the road trip was extreme ADHD awesomeness for me.  We got up really early...well really early for me...standard time for my husband.  We wanted to get all the way out of town before morning rush hour.

Notice in the picture it's so dark you can't even see us in the car.

We started out and I looked on my phone for where the hotel was so we had a general idea of how long this would take.  I looked it up and went hmmmm.  The hotel wasn't exactly where I thought it would be when I booked it.  After all the time and care I put into booking the hotel you would have thought I knew exactly where it was...apparently not.

It was okay because now we had two different ways we could go to our destination.  Feeling adventurous we both decided that we would take the route that neither of us had ever gone before.  And as a bonus the map stated this route was faster.  So off we went.


First off, the map lied...maybe the route was shorter, but it took us through every small town.  But this was a good thing, much more adventures could happen in small towns than on the highway.


So we were driving for a while and I notice a town name that I had been to before.  In my head we weren't anywhere near that town...but here it was.  And this town had real live dinosaur footprints that we could go look at.  My husband loves dinosaurs so we decide this would be a great thing to go do.  Then we looked at the clock and saw that it was 7am.  Hmmm...would the dinosaur footprints be open this early? 

We decided to check it out and lucky us, it was a state park and it was open.  Off we went to look at footprints.  And we got to see the footprints...in their original state (not moved to a museum) and we could walk right up to them.  It was surreal being able to go and put our feet by them (we didn't put our feet in the footprints because they were all filled with water, but we could have).  It was amazing that they weren't all cordoned off and kept away from actual visitors.

After we spent about an hour looking at footprints we resumed driving.  Our route took us through a small town where we had to make a turn.  Small towns love doing that.  Make you turn to keep on your route.  But we were stopped at a light and off to my right I saw a sign that said chocolate store.  Chocolate is one of my most favorite things in the whole wide world.  So I asked if we could stop there.  Chocolate is also one of my husband's most favorite things in the world.  So he happily obliged.  He even performed the u-turn that is usually reserved for me in order to take me to the chocolate.

We only had to wait 15 minutes for the store to open.  We went inside and were in chocolate heaven.  I knew I wanted to buy stuff, but what stuff?  There was so much to choose from and I couldn't afford to buy the entire store.

We browsed for a while and made our choices.  As we were checking out the cashier told us the place they make the chocolate was nearby and they had free samples.  I looked at my husband and said...um yeah...we will definitely be checking that place out.


We went to the factory and it was a cute little place where they handmade this wonderful stuff.  We talked to the chocolate maker for a bit and had lots of free samples.  Chocolate is a wonderful way to start a morning.

**And no, that is not a ball of poop in my hands...it is absolutely wonderfully yummy chocolate.

We continue driving and pass a cave.  We both want to go check out the cave, but we are hungry, very hungry.  And we are close to our hotel.  So we decide to check in, eat and then go back and see the cave.  As we are eating we look up to see how close our hotel is to where we actually wanted to be for sightseeing.  I figured about 20 minutes.  Turns out it was an hour away.  So much for all my hotel research.  But on the bright side the hotel was on a lake and it was beautiful.  And close to a cave.  It worked out perfectly.

Packing...sorta

I'm getting ready to go on a mini road trip with my sweet husband soon.  I'll be really busy the last couple of days right before the trip and we plan on leaving early in the morning for the trip so I need to pack several days in advance.  At least that would make sense.

The trip will be short so I don't need to pack that much even.  But my ADHD has kicked in.  Even though the trip will be very quick, there is so much to be done before I can pack.

 (The kitten loves suitcases.  She is always hiding in them when we are trying to pack them.  I swear one day we will get to our destination and out will pop Abby!)

For example:

-Every speck of laundry must be done before I can even think about packing.  It doesn't matter that I'll only be packing for a couple days, it all must get done first.

-The kitchen must be clean before I go (usually it's the whole house but this time even I realize that isn't going to happen :-)

-My sewing project that I am in the middle of must be finished because I want to bring it with me.  (It's a new purse)

-All my schoolwork must be finished before I leave (Even the stuff not due yet)

-A new swimsuit must be purchased before I can go (Even though it looks like it will be raining).

That is all I can think of right now, but it is enough.  I can't seem to pack because of these holdups.  It's frustrating really.  All I need is a couple of outfits and my shampoo right?  And my newly made purse and my swimsuit.  Oh and my phone and charger and my camera and some snacks and a book and a jacket if it gets cold (yeah right...cold...who am I kidding?) and I'm sure I will forget something.  It wouldn't be me if I didn't forget something and make my husband come back for it.

This is a vacation...it's supposed to be relaxing...and it will be...as soon as I can get packed.

Shopping

I love shopping....but I am not very fun to go shopping with.  At least that is what I'm guessing.  My husband is always willing to go with me, no matter what I am shopping for.  But he is one-of-a-kind amazing husband.  My kids on the other hand...hate shopping with me.

When I go shopping for a specific item it is always a process.  Take for example recently I needed a cat carrier for my new kitten.  It did not matter that I already had two cat carriers.  I needed a special cat carrier because she is going to be my therapy cat and she cannot be seen hanging out in one of those boring old tan, hard sided cat carriers.  I wanted my kitten to be hanging out in style.  She needed a pink cat carrier.

Of course I decided this one evening about 7:00 at night and had to have it that night.  My husband indulged me and took me to the pet store.  I found lots of cat carriers that were less than perfect.  My husband found one that wasn't pink, but it was the right size and a really good price......but it wasn't pink.

**For some reason this in this picture I would fill in my red shirt and when I saved it parts of the shirt did not save.  So I'm not trying to look inappropriate...my computer is out to embarrass me.**

We kept looking and I could not find the perfect one, so I started settling for the blue one my husband had picked out.  But he could tell I was not happy with it.  I was thinking...how could I settle when we had only been to one store so far this evening?

So my husband agreed to take me to another pet store.  That is a trend with me.  I can find the absolutely perfect item that I am looking for, but if it is at the first store I looked, I can't help myself, I must keep looking.  The perfect item might be out there and if I stop looking I won't find it.  Never mind that this rarely happens.

So we go to the next pet store.  And I was right!!!  They have the perfect pink cat carrier.  But it is too expensive.  Hmmm....I keep looking...time is running out, I must find the perfect cat carrier tonight.  It's not like I have a need for it tonight or tomorrow, I just want it tonight.

I keep looking through the store, the perfect one was actually a dog carrier, I figure I will go check out the cat area.  And there it is.  The perfect carrier for the perfect price.  And I can purchase it, because before I ever got to this store I had checked at the big box stores while grocery shopping, I had checked online earlier that day and I had been to the other pet store already this evening.  If this had been the first place I had looked I would not have been able to bring myself to actually buy it.

So I thought I had been entirely reasonable that night only going to two stores.  I can't imagine why my kids refuse to shop with me.

Adventures in Driving

I had to take my little kitten to the vet again today.  I say again because I took her two weeks ago, but she was one ounce too light for her surgery.  One ounce...I should of had her wear her collar.  But she has managed to permanently lose two different collars so I refuse to buy her another one.  I think she secretly throws them away because she hates the bell ringing all the time on it.

So I was on my way to the vet.  I turned down the street and the vet was not there.  I was confused.  It was there two weeks ago.  Now there was some companies headquarters...not something that would have been built in the last two weeks.

I went further down the road thinking that maybe it was down farther than I remembered.  Still no vets office.  So I did what I seem to have to do almost every time I drive...I did the U-turn.  Seriously, I make u-turns all the time.  And unfortunately I'm not talking just when I'm going somewhere new.  I could be driving the same route I drive everyday and suddenly I realize I have gone past my turn...so I do the u-turn.  I once bought a car based on it turning radius...but now I own a van.  My van does a great u-turn.

So anyhow...I did the u-turn and looked once again where the vet was last week.  Still some companies headquarter...darn...I was hoping the vet had reappeared in the last two minutes.  I was starting to think my cat had something to do with this.

So I do the quick look on my phone to see where the vets office had gone to.  I found a place about an hour away.  Not what I was looking for.

So I'm driving along after performing another u-turn and suddenly it dawns on me.  I'm on the wrong road.  I turned one light too soon.  I went down to the next road and the vet was magically where it belonged.

This is why I drive as little as possible.


***No my cat did not ride in the back seat of my van.  She rode in her carrier.  I just cannot draw her in her carrier very well :-)

The Great Hotel Search

In a couple weeks my husband and I are taking a few days to sneak away for a short, inexpensive, much needed vacation.  I wanted the best bang for the buck for my vacation.

So I started out with looking at cruises, worked my way down to flying somewhere, then down to driving somewhere.  With our time and money constraints we finally decided upon a location a few hours drive away.  Which I am still very excited about because no matter what my husband and I do together...we still have fun.

I love researching and booking vacations so I was ready to find the best hotel value I could.  Something low priced, but not gross.  (I once stayed in a hotel with bugs crawling all over the floor.  I had no option of changing rooms or hotels and it was just me and the kids.  I just told them to go to bed really early, like around 6pm.  They could not understand why I was making them go to bed so early on vacation.  My theory was the sooner we go to sleep the sooner we can wake up and leave.)

So that is not an experience I care to revisit.  So with due diligence and research I came up with the perfect option.  A good hotel at a great price.  Booked it...all taken care of done.  Happy dance for me!!

A week later I was talking to my husband about a conference I was excited about going to.  He asked me exactly when was this conference and my heart sunk.  I realized it was during our scheduled vacation time.

So the next morning I called the conference to see if I could get a refund.  Nope...the refund date had passed 4 days ago.  But I could move the session I was scheduled to attend from Friday to Saturday.  So I could still go on vacation, but would have to cut it short.  Easy enough...it would save us money and we would still have fun.

So I call to change the hotel reservation, except now the rate is higher per night because I am booking less nights and oh yeah, that room is no longer available?  What I have that room booked already, why isn't it available for less nights.  This isn't worth the frustration so I cancel the whole booking.

Now to find a hotel all over again.  And my brain goes into hyper-focus.  This is something that happens to people with ADHD, sometimes they over-focus on an activity and they cannot seem to break it.

A few hours later I still do not have a hotel reservation.  I really do function so much better when I am busy.  Can anyone relate or am I just a one of a kind mess today :-)